Phase 5: Reinvesting in Us

Martha and I are squarely in this phase of our marriage. We are actively supporting our three adult children in following their passions, building our own business enterprises, taking care of our health, enjoying visits with our three grandsons and thinking a lot about our financial security as we look ahead to the latter years of […]

The Co-Pilot Metaphor

When I work with couples, who are raising young children or children of school age, I often hear their complaint that they simply do not have enough time or space to attend to the well-being of their relationship or the quality of their marriage. I completely understand their dilemma. I can remember that when our […]

Phase 4: You, Me and Us

For many couples, life events during the first five to nine years of their marriage can challenge their resolve to support each other’s happiness and success and that of their relationship. Whether a couple faces financial difficulties, extra-marital issues or communication breakdowns, each person in the relationship must call on their inner resources to renew […]

Phase 3: Investing in Us

The central focus in Phase 3 of a partnership marriage turns to the personal growth and success of each individual and to that of the marriage itself. This stage of marriage often begins in the fourth or fifth year of marriage when a couple is busy raising children, managing dual careers, managing their home and […]

Phase 2: We’re Committed!

Phase 2 of a partnership marriage begins when the two of you commit to creating a future together. You take the plunge together, get engaged and commit to getting married. Phase 2 often extends into the first few years of marriage. As you look forward to your wedding day, you must learn to balance your […]

Same-Sex Marriage is a Right Nationwide!

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would […]

Phase 1: Falling into Us

Several years ago, I was sharing with a group of couples in one of my workshops about my second date with Martha, when we attended a community theater production of “Some Like it Hot.” I shared with them that it was on that date when Martha and I first fell in love. Martha, who was […]

Conversations for Partnership in Marriage

In my book, The Partnership Marriage: Creating the Life You Love…Together, I outline six distinct phases of marriage. Many stage models in the marriage literature are strikingly similar. In The Partnership Marriage, I focus on describing the marital commitments and kinds of conversations that are central to each phase of marriage. It is the premise […]

Gender Equality and Marriage

On September 20, 2014, Emma Watson, British actor and Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women, launched the HeForShe initiative for gender equality at the United Nations. She gave a moving speech, in which she called on men and boys to join women and girls in advocating for a world in which both sexes have equal rights […]

Six Radical Shifts in Marriage

Marriage has been transforming over the last four hundred years. The institution of marriage has changed as a reflection of evolving human ideals and social ideas of society. Specifically, there are six radical shifts that have taken place in the evolution of the marriage since the first Europeans came to America. Civil marriage is invented. […]