The Changing Face of Marriage

In the United States today, society is rapidly moving to a time when all people, regardless of sexual orientation, will have equal opportunity under the law to get married. At present, same-sex marriage is legal in seventeen states and the District of Columbia.  Same sex marriage in Utah, which was the eighteenth state to legalize […]

The Empty Nest – What’s Next?

If your grown kids are leaving home, going off to college, getting married or starting a new job, there is good news. Many couples at this stage are spending more quality time together. Marital satisfaction increases as the quality of your interactions and conversations improve with each other. The empty nest phase of your life […]

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I am looking forward to being together with family and eating bountifully. As usual, this holiday comes at a very busy time of the year for Martha and me and reminds me just how seldom I give thanks for anything, let alone the wonderful life we have. Martha, I […]

The Power of Conversation

Oscar Wilde wrote, “Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation, and conversation must have a common basis…” Over a lifetime, a married couple expresses all kinds of feelings, viewpoints, opinions, judgments, and ideas in conversation with each other. Their conversations can, at times, be creative, productive, and affirming […]

By the Year 2017…

In the summer of 2005, Martha and I were living in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, with two of our three children, and starting to think about coming back home to the United States. Martha’s four-year expatriate contract with an international bank would be coming to an end in a year’s time, our eldest daughter was getting […]

Conversations for Partnership

Over the past year, I’ve been writing a book on partnership in marriage. The focus of my book is the power of conversation in marriage and how couples, by having important conversations, can create a fulfilling and enduring partnership over a lifetime. Here’s an excerpt from the first draft: “It is the nature of a […]

The Power of Co-creating Vision

From 2002 to 2006, Martha and I spent four wonderful years living in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, with two of our three children. In the spring of 2006, our expatriate assignment was drawing to a close and it was time for us to return home to the United States. We wanted to live in the Boston […]

Putting Us First

At the end of August, Martha and I spent a wonderful and much needed vacation for a week and a half on Squam Lake in Holderness, New Hampshire. We swam, hiked, put together puzzles and read our books. We didn’t think about work or other responsibilities for a minute. We relaxed and replenished ourselves. We […]

Investing in your Marriage

There is a good deal of research that suggests that couples who are successful in marriage benefit greatly. These couples are happier, are healthier, have longer lives, are wealthier and have better sex lives than couples who divorce or individuals who remain single (Waite & Gallagher, 2000). Investing in your marriage is one of the […]

Radical Conversations that Have Shaped Marriage

In the last two hundred and fifty years, societal conversations in the United States, all considered radical at an earlier time, have transformed the institution of marriage. Briefly, here are a few: Individual choice. The Age of Enlightenment in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries influenced relations between men and women in radical ways. Reason trumped […]