Enjoying Each Other’s Company

Many married couples today have very busy and demanding lives juggling two careers, attending to their family and managing numerous other responsibilities. Doherty (2001) suggests that couples must continually find ways to foster their connection with each other. Successful couples put connecting with each other high on their priority list. Doherty (2001) suggests that there […]

What is the Meaning of a Diamond Ring?

For Christmas this year, I gave Martha a diamond ring. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for quite sometime. Forty years to be exact. You see I never gave Martha a diamond engagement ring. In fact, at the time, Martha didn’t want me to buy her a ring. It was October 1972 when I […]

Should We Cohabitate?

In the past half century, there has been a dramatic increase in acceptance of alternative lifestyles to marriage for individuals living in the United States, including cohabitation, single parent families, gay and lesbian marriage, divorce and remarriage and step-families. According to a New York Times article by Meg Jay published in April 2012, cohabitating couples […]

I’d Be Happy If You Changed

I don’t know anyone who is married or in a long-term relationship who hasn’t thought at one time or another that they would be happier if their partner changed. If you haven’t had that thought, you’re a saint! “If my wife would only be on time more often, I’d be happy.” “If my husband would […]

Finding Time to Talk

Early in our marriage, Martha and I would find ourselves going along just fine and then, all of sudden, we’d be in the middle of an argument about money, housework or home repairs that weren’t getting done. We’d get lost in the argument and attempt to solve the issue then and there and, as a […]

Choosing Marriage on the Basis of Love

Prior to the eighteenth century in Western Europe and elsewhere around the globe, marriage between a man and a woman had little to do with lifelong loving companionship. What is more, a betrothed couple had little to say in the matter; it was often not even their choice to get married! In her research on […]

Building a Future Together

Sometime after our third child was born in 1991, Martha and I sat down and created 50-year vision of our future. We imagined our three children going to college and each of them pursing their interests and work that they love. We envisioned traveling overseas and even talked about living in a foreign country at […]

Creating a Vision Statement

This is an exercise that will help you and your partner to create a very succinct statement about what is important to your relationship. This exercise was adapted from the work of Harrold (2001). Step 1: In this part of the exercise, consider the following questions together. Simply have a conversation as you consider the […]

Why I Never See the Laundry

This blog could also be entitled “Why My Wife Never Sees the Trash.”  Let me explain. One of the choices I made almost thirty-five years ago in my relationship with my wife, Martha, was that I would be responsible for taking out the trash. I like to take out the trash. I do it regularly […]

Communicating with Compassion

Marshall Rosenberg (2005) examined the role that language plays in helping people to be compassionate with each other when communicating their needs, wants and requests of each other.  He says that when human beings are communicating from the heart and connecting authentically with each other they are communicating with compassion. He is interested in how […]