The Power of Co-creating Vision

From 2002 to 2006, Martha and I spent four wonderful years living in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, with two of our three children. In the spring of 2006, our expatriate assignment was drawing to a close and it was time for us to return home to the United States. We wanted to live in the Boston […]

Putting Us First

At the end of August, Martha and I spent a wonderful and much needed vacation for a week and a half on Squam Lake in Holderness, New Hampshire. We swam, hiked, put together puzzles and read our books. We didn’t think about work or other responsibilities for a minute. We relaxed and replenished ourselves. We […]

The Wisdom of Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash wrote: “To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” Everyone has a valid point of view. And each person’s point of view has a particular “rightness” to it, given that it is the only point of view a person can […]

Investing in your Marriage

There is a good deal of research that suggests that couples who are successful in marriage benefit greatly. These couples are happier, are healthier, have longer lives, are wealthier and have better sex lives than couples who divorce or individuals who remain single (Waite & Gallagher, 2000). Investing in your marriage is one of the […]

The Head of the Household

My brother-in-law sent me a book on marriage last week called “Make Yours a Happy Marriage” by O.A. Geiseman. It was written in 1946 just two years after my parents were married. Dr. Geiseman was the pastor at a Lutheran Church in Illinois and was a well known speaker at the time in practical religious […]

Connecting to Us Couples Retreat

I am happy to announce that a colleague of mine, Joanie Yanusas, and I are facilitating a couples retreat on the second weekend in October at a peaceful and beautiful venue in Elmira, New York.  Joanie is a certified professional coach and Retreat Leader whom I met at a leadership course several years ago. She […]

Living a Valued Life

Whitworth, Kimsey-House, & Sandahl (1998) wrote that a valued life is a fulfilling life and living such a life is a “radical act.” When one thinks of the word “radical,” one thinks of going to an extreme, but this is not what is meant in this context. The dictionary definition of radical, as an adjective, […]

How Much Play Do You Have in Your Marriage?

Many couples today are challenged with balancing work and life. When Martha and I are feeling out of balance, the first casualty is our playfulness. When the demands of our work and the commitments we’ve made put us into overwhelm, often what gets crowded out is play. When we step back, get a little perspective […]

What Husbands Want in Marriage

Have you ever wanted to know what husbands really want in their marriages with their wives? Neil Chethik (2006) in his book, Voice Male, presented the results of his interviews with 70 husbands and surveys with another 280 husbands to find out. Most husbands whom he interviewed: Considered their relationships with their wife as most […]

Transforming Pesky Problems

Sometimes, it is easy to think that a happy marriage is a problem-free marriage. Well, let’s check that out. Engage in the following little guided tour: Imagine being together over your entire lifetime. Envision all the things that are going to happen over the next 5, 15, 35 or 50+ years. Imagine all the bills […]