Transforming Pesky Problems

Sometimes, it is easy to think that a happy marriage is a problem-free marriage. Well, let’s check that out. Engage in the following little guided tour: Imagine being together over your entire lifetime. Envision all the things that are going to happen over the next 5, 15, 35 or 50+ years. Imagine all the bills […]

Enjoying Each Other’s Company

Many married couples today have very busy and demanding lives juggling two careers, attending to their family and managing numerous other responsibilities. Doherty (2001) suggests that couples must continually find ways to foster their connection with each other. Successful couples put connecting with each other high on their priority list. Doherty (2001) suggests that there […]

Resolving Conflict Responsibility

In a successful marriage, a couple learns to solve issues and problems effectively and, in so doing, they strengthen their marriage. Along the way, though, it is safe to say that they also periodically experience obstacles to effective conflict resolution. Here are just a few: Blaming your partner is most likely the greatest obstacle for […]

Exploring Ideas about Marriage

We all have different ideas and notions about marriage. We form beliefs and judgments about marriage by what we watch on television and at the movies, by what we read in newspapers and magazines and by witnessing the success or failure of the marriages of our own parents, family members and friends. We form all […]

Partnership: A Missing Conversation in Marriage?

When I go into a bookstore and pick up books on marriage, I will often go right to the index to see if I can find the word “partnership”. It always surprises me when that word is not there. When I go on the Internet and search for “partnership,” I find many links to websites […]

What is the Meaning of a Diamond Ring?

For Christmas this year, I gave Martha a diamond ring. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for quite sometime. Forty years to be exact. You see I never gave Martha a diamond engagement ring. In fact, at the time, Martha didn’t want me to buy her a ring. It was October 1972 when I […]

Should We Cohabitate?

In the past half century, there has been a dramatic increase in acceptance of alternative lifestyles to marriage for individuals living in the United States, including cohabitation, single parent families, gay and lesbian marriage, divorce and remarriage and step-families. According to a New York Times article by Meg Jay published in April 2012, cohabitating couples […]

I’d Be Happy If You Changed

I don’t know anyone who is married or in a long-term relationship who hasn’t thought at one time or another that they would be happier if their partner changed. If you haven’t had that thought, you’re a saint! “If my wife would only be on time more often, I’d be happy.” “If my husband would […]

Finding Time to Talk

Early in our marriage, Martha and I would find ourselves going along just fine and then, all of sudden, we’d be in the middle of an argument about money, housework or home repairs that weren’t getting done. We’d get lost in the argument and attempt to solve the issue then and there and, as a […]

Choosing Marriage on the Basis of Love

Prior to the eighteenth century in Western Europe and elsewhere around the globe, marriage between a man and a woman had little to do with lifelong loving companionship. What is more, a betrothed couple had little to say in the matter; it was often not even their choice to get married! In her research on […]