Building a Future Together

Sometime after our third child was born in 1991, Martha and I sat down and created 50-year vision of our future. We imagined our three children going to college and each of them pursing their interests and work that they love. We envisioned traveling overseas and even talked about living in a foreign country at […]

Creating a Vision Statement

This is an exercise that will help you and your partner to create a very succinct statement about what is important to your relationship. This exercise was adapted from the work of Harrold (2001). Step 1: In this part of the exercise, consider the following questions together. Simply have a conversation as you consider the […]

Why I Never See the Laundry

This blog could also be entitled “Why My Wife Never Sees the Trash.”  Let me explain. One of the choices I made almost thirty-five years ago in my relationship with my wife, Martha, was that I would be responsible for taking out the trash. I like to take out the trash. I do it regularly […]

The Power of Alignment

Webster’s dictionary defines alignment as “the act of bringing into close cooperation, to ally with, to associate with, or to side with.” Couples who see themselves as partners in life together tend to be aligned on their values, in their lifestyle, and in their vision for their relationship and their future. When something in their […]

Negotiating Roles and Responsibilities

One of the unrelenting, day-to-day realities for many couples today is getting all of the household responsibilities done to the satisfaction of both parties. How a couple works out their household roles and responsibilities can be the source of frustration and conflict or it can be the expression of effective teamwork. It could be said […]

Three Forms of Marriage Partnership

There is no one set of values that a couple can adopt that will form the basis of an enduring, fulfilling marriage partnership. Each couple co-creates the values that are important to their relationship.  John Gottman (1994), a marriage researcher and expert, studied 2000 different couples and found that there were three stable forms of […]