“Let’s…”

When we were boys, my twin brother, Wendel, and I always found things to do together. “Let’s play tennis.” “Let’s play catch.” “Let’s ride our bicycles.” “Let’s go to the store and get some baseball cards.” We were always finding ways to play together. Wendel or I would suggest something to do by saying “Let’s…”

I notice that in my marriage with Martha, we do this all the time. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight.” “Let’s go to a movie.” “Let’s stay in tonight and eat dinner by the fire.” One of us throws out an idea for the two of us to do together.

There are other ways we engage each other as well. Like, “I want to go to a movie. What do you want to do? Do you want to go to a movie?” Or, “I’d like to go to the museum this afternoon? What are your plans?” When Martha and I talk this way to each other, it feels like we are in two separate worlds, trying to extricate ourselves from your own plans and commitments to find a way to connect.

When one of us says “Let’s,” we start from a place of already being related, recognizing the desire to be with each other.

• “Let’s” is connecting. You’re showing interest in being with your partner and letting them know that you enjoy being with them.
• “Let’s” is friendly. You’re sending a message to your partner that you want to do something fun together.
• “Let’s” is freeing. You’re saying that your own circumstances, for the moment, are not as important as being with your partner.
• “Let’s” is inclusive – You are saying to your partner that you want to include them in your plans. You want to do something with them.
• “Let’s” is creative. “Let’s” orients the two of you toward having conversation around an opportunity in the short-term or something that might be possible in the future. For instance, “Let’s go to the play next weekend.” Or, “Let’s go to Italy on our vacation this summer.”
• “Let’s” is inviting. “Let’s” is an invitation to your partner to join together with you and to have a choice in the matter. They can say “Yes,” “No,” or suggest another idea.

“Let’s” puts your focus on your partnership. With that simple contraction of “let us,” you both recognize that you want to be together, enjoy each other’s company and set aside time and space for sharing your lives together.

Posted in Partnership Marriage