Having your Marriage be a Top Priority

Couples live in a world today that is individualistic, consumer-oriented, media-saturated and work-oriented which often leaves them with less spark, less connection, less intimacy and less focus on the quality of their marriage or committed relationship. Here are some of what competes for a couple’s attention:

• Couples are too busy to put a priority on their marriage or committed relationship

• Couples get too focused on their children or their work life

• Couples take their partner for granted

• Couples watch too much television or spend too much time on the internet

• Couples stop dating or creating time for their relationship

• Couples are not connected to other couples where they can share their relationship

• Couples disagree about how much work to put into their marriage

Sound familiar?  Here is another perspective:

Adopt the idea that the quality of your marriage is your #1 priority.  Imagine what your life would look like if you made the quality of your relationship and the quality of your marriage your #1 priority.  Ask yourselves the question: “What is possible if we make the quality of our relationship and our marriage be a top priority  for the rest of our lives together?”

• What do you see about the quality of your lives over the long run?

• Where would you both put your attention?

• How would you solve problems together?

• How would you work together to realize not only your individual dreams but also your joint dreams?

• How would you parent your children?

• What do you see in the quality of the friendships that you have in your lives?

Just for a little contrast, imagine that you both don’t make the quality of your relationship your #1 priority. Imagine that there is always something more important that displaces your commitment to the quality of your relationship.  It could be your children, your parents, your finances, your house or your careers.  Ask yourselves the question: “How is it going to turn out long term if something else is always more important than the quality of our marriage or committed relationship?”

Consider that the quality of your relationship is the context or the container for everything else in your life to work. Everything else in your lives can occupy an important place inside the context of your marriage and your commitment to each other.  Making the quality of your relationship a top priority will go a long way to ensuring an enduring and fulfilling marriage over a lifetime.

Posted in Partnership Marriage